Why Are We Doing This Work? Reflections for Trauma-Informed Practitioners

Exploring the inner patterns that shape how we show up in healing work

A Question Worth Returning To

“Why am I doing this work?”For those of us who serve in trauma-informed fields, this is not a question to ask once and forget. It is one to return to again and again. Our answers shift as we grow, as our lives change, and as we deepen in our own self-awareness.

Regular reflection helps us notice what drives us, what sustains us, and where we may need to pause. Without it, we risk slipping into old patterns—sometimes ones that can unintentionally cause harm.

Underlying Patterns That Draw Us In

Many practitioners are called to this work from a place of deep compassion, empathy, or lived experience. But there are also unconscious beliefs that can draw us here:

• I must prove my worth through helping. If our value feels tied to how much we give, we may overextend ourselves or blur boundaries.

• I need to fix what was broken in me. Sometimes we seek to heal others as a way to touch our own unhealed wounds, without realizing it.

• I am only lovable when I am useful. This belief can drive us to overidentify with the caretaker role, leaving little room for our own needs.

• I can protect others from what I experienced. While protective instincts are natural, they can lead us to step outside our professional role or unintentionally take away another person’s sense of agency.

  
  

These patterns do not make us bad practitioners—they make us human. But without reflection, they can shape how we show up in ways that may not always serve those we care for.

How These Patterns Affect Our Work

When our presence is driven by unmet needs, it changes the dynamic in the room. We may:

• Take on too much responsibility for a client’s healing.

• Struggle with boundaries, saying yes when we need to say no.

• Feel rejected or inadequate if progress is slow.

• Seek affirmation from clients rather than holding space for them.

  
  

If you’ve ever left a session wondering whether you did enough, or caught yourself replaying a conversation or situation long after it ended, you’re not alone. These moments are part of the quiet weight many of us carry in this work. Naming them openly is the first step toward shifting how they influence us.

When We Wonder If We’ve Done Enough

The question “Did I do enough?” is one that echoes in many practitioners’ minds. At first glance, it seems like a simple reflection on how a session went. But often, it carries deeper layers—tied not to the client’s needs, but to our own self-worth.

Many of us carry shame-based narratives such as:

• “I am only good if I have the perfect response.”

• “I am only valuable when I am useful.”

• “I am only worthy if my clients make progress.”

  
  

These beliefs often have deep roots in our personal histories. They may stem from early messages that told us our value depended on performance, care for others, or constant achievement. When left unexamined, they can drive us to overperform, push too hard, or silently measure our worth against outcomes we cannot control.

How It Shapes Our Presence

Unexamined, these patterns might lead us to:

• Push harder than is helpful, hoping to “prove” our value by how much progress is made.

• Take responsibility for healing that belongs to the client, creating pressure for both them and us.

• Seek subtle forms of affirmation—needing a client to express gratitude, approval, or visible progress to reassure us that we are doing a “good job.”

  
  

Over time, this can distort the practitioner-client relationship. Clients may sense our unspoken need for reassurance, and this can place them in the position of caretaker—something that undermines the safety and empowerment we intend to create.

The Risk of Wanting Clients to Meet Our Needs

It’s worth asking honestly: Are we hoping our clients will validate us, heal something in us, or meet a need we haven’t acknowledged? If so, we may unknowingly put them in the position of caretakers—the very dynamic we are trying to avoid. Trauma-informed work is about safety, choice, and empowerment. When our own needs are unspoken drivers, it can undermine that foundation.

A Gentle Shift

The invitation is not to rid ourselves of these thoughts completely—they are deeply human—but to notice them with honesty. The question “Did I do enough?” is rarely about the client’s growth. More often, it is about our own self-worth and fear of inadequacy. By recognizing this, we give ourselves permission to soften the grip of shame and to step into a more grounded presence.

Reflection, peer support, and compassionate self-awareness can help us loosen these old patterns. Supervision, trusted colleagues, or journaling can all be mirrors for us to see where our needs are creeping into the work. Slowly, we can reframe the question. Instead of asking, “Did I do enough?” we might begin asking, “Did I show up with presence, care, and integrity?”

That shift does not erase doubt completely, but it transforms it into something gentler—an opportunity to reflect without judgment. It reminds us that the essence of our work is not perfection, but presence.

Reflective Practices to Prevent Harm

The good news is that reflection can transform these patterns. By naming them, we create space to shift. Some ways to do this include:

• Regular self-reflection. Journaling, supervision, or personal therapy can help us check in with our motivations.

• Awareness of boundaries. Noticing where our needs begin and where our clients’ needs begin keeps the roles clear.

• Grounding in humility. Remembering that healing belongs to the client helps us release pressure to “fix.”

• Seeking collective support. Connecting with peers who can listen and reflect with us reduces isolation and keeps us accountable.

• Compassion for ourselves. Recognizing that our own wounds deserve care reminds us that it is not our clients’ job to fill them.

  
  

A Reflection to Keep Close

What we know deep down is that our worth is not measured by perfection, productivity, or outcomes. Our worth is inherent. Clients do not need us to be flawless—they need us to be human, steady, and genuine.

When we can release the burden of “enoughness,” we create more space for authentic connection. We free our clients from carrying our unspoken expectations and allow them to focus on their own healing. And we free ourselves from the exhausting cycle of self-doubt.

Showing up authentically—with humility, care, and integrity—is enough. And perhaps the real work is remembering that again and again.

Invitations for Reflection

1. My “Why” Today

   • Why am I doing this work right now, in this season of my life?

   • How has my “why” shifted since I first began?

2. Unspoken Motivations

   • Do I ever feel like I need to prove my worth through helping?

   • Am I seeking healing for my own wounds through my clients’ progress?

   • Where do I notice thoughts like “I am only good if…” or “I am only valuable when…” showing up in my work?

3. Impact on How I Show Up

   • How might my own needs—spoken or unspoken—be shaping the way I interact with clients?

   • Do I ever feel disappointed, frustrated, or rejected if clients don’t respond as I hope?

   • Am I holding space for their needs, or am I hoping they will meet mine?

4. Boundaries & Sustainability

   • Where do I struggle to set or honor boundaries?

   • What are the signs that I’m giving from depletion rather than steadiness?

   • What practices help me return to clarity and balance?

5. Support & Compassion

   • Who are the people I can lean on for reflection and accountability?

   • What small, consistent acts of care remind me that I am worthy outside of my role?

   • How can I extend to myself the same compassion I encourage in others

   
   

Wishing you wellness,

Keri Sawyer